By Amy Burgess, Perinatal Clinical Psychologist.
When it comes to perinatal mental health, there are many enduring myths and misconceptions. These beliefs can come from well-meaning family and friends, social media and often become internalised by women and birthing people themselves. Unfortunately, these myths can prevent individuals from recognising symptoms and seeking support, reinforcing feelings of shame, isolation, and fear during what can already be an overwhelming time.
We’re thrilled to have Dr Amy Burgess, Perinatal Clinical Psychologist, with the Cheshire and Wirral Specialist Perinatal Mental Health Service, helping us bust some of the most common myths about perinatal mental health to help open up conversations and encourage more people to access the help they need.
Myth 1: Perinatal Mental Health Difficulties Are Uncommon
Reality:
Perinatal mental health challenges are far more common than most people realise. In fact, at least 1 in 5 women and birthing people in the UK will experience a mental health difficulty within the first year after having a baby.
Many people don’t talk about how they’re truly feeling, often due to fear of judgment, which means the actual numbers could be even higher. These issues are not rare, and you are not alone.
Myth 2: A Mental Health Diagnosis Will Lead to Social Services Involvement
Reality:
This is a common fear but is not necessarily the case. A referral to social services only happens if a professional believes a child is at risk of significant harm. Experiencing a mental health difficulty in and of itself, is not enough for a referral into children’s social care.
Many parents worry that opening up about their feelings will lead to them being seen as unfit to parent. In truth, you can experience perinatal mental health difficulties and still be a safe, loving, and capable parent.
Myth 3: There Are Limited Treatment Options During Pregnancy and Breastfeeding
Reality:
There are a wide range of safe and effective treatments available during pregnancy and while breastfeeding. This includes psychological therapies, peer support, activities, and medications where appropriate.
When it comes to medication, professionals will weigh up the benefits of reduced distress (such as lower cortisol levels) against any potential risks of a medication. It’s important to have open, informed discussions with a health professional about the best course of action for your situation.
Myth 4: The Postnatal Period Is the Happiest Time of Your Life
Reality:
While having a baby can bring great joy, the postnatal period is also incredibly challenging. Sleep deprivation, physical recovery, adjusting to a new routine, and caring for an infant who is entirely dependent on you, can all take a toll on our mental health.
Parenthood is often portrayed in the media as a warm, loving, ‘perfect’ and idealistic. How often do we see media that shows a mum in the middle of the night, in sick stained pyjamas, rocking a crying baby for hours on end whilst fighting back tears and exhaustion? This can distort our reality of what being a parent is like and make it even harder to accept and acknowledge that we are finding things difficult.
In reality, it’s common to feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and emotional—and that doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.
Myth 5: You’ll Instantly Bond With Your Baby
Reality:
Not everyone feels an instant connection with their baby. Many new mothers and birthing people find it takes time to build a relationship, especially after a difficult birth.
If you didn’t feel a surge of love the moment your baby was born, that’s completely normal. A strong, secure attachment can still develop over time.
Myth 6: Distressing Thoughts Are a Sign You’ll Harm Your Baby
Reality:
Research shows that we have on average 4000 thoughts a day which can look like words, images, memories or can play like a film in our mind. Sometimes people experience what we call ‘intrusive thoughts’ which are unwanted and cause us distress. Research shows that in a study of 100 women, every participant reported unwanted thoughts of accidentally harming their baby in the first four weeks after birth (Fairbrother & Woody, 2008).
Whilst unsettling, it is common for parents to experience intrusive and unwanted thoughts in the perinatal period. In fact, the distress these thoughts cause often proves how misaligned they are with your true feelings. You are not alone, and you are not a bad parent for having them.
Myth 7: Emotional Struggles After Birth Are Just ‘Baby Blues’
Reality:
Many women will feel down, tearful and anxious in the first few weeks after birth, this is a common experienced often labelled “baby blues”. However, for some mums who are struggling emotionally, they may be experiencing mental health difficulties such as postnatal depression or anxiety. These difficulties can start any time in the perinatal period and do not ‘pass’ weeks after the birth. Perinatal mental health difficulties can persist for months without the right support so it is important to seek help.
Final Thoughts: Let’s Talk About It
Breaking down these myths is a vital step towards normalising conversations around maternal mental health. The more we speak openly and honestly about what this period is really like, the more we can support each other and help people get the care they deserve.
If you’re struggling, please know that help is available. Speak to your GP, midwife, health visitor, or contact a charity peer support group, such as Smile Group. You are not alone—and you deserve support.